We’ll return to our series on how to start planning your wedding in our next post, but I had to take a short break today to tell you all about the upcoming DCCWC Couture 2009 Bridal Show! The DCCWC is the DC Couture Wedding Consortium, and its members are among the most stylish and sought-after in the Washington wedding community.

This year’s DCCWC wedding show is scheduled for Saturday, January 31st, from 12:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. The location is the beautiful Decatur House on Lafayette Square in Washington, DC. Admission is free but limited, and you must preregister if you plan to attend.

Don’t miss this chance not only to meet some fabulous wedding vendors, but also to take a look at Decatur House — it might be just what you’ve always imagined for your wedding!

Head on over to the DCCWC website to register and learn more about the show.

And thanks, Sara, for the heads up! (Sara Bauleke is the fabulous wedding planner behind Bella Notte. If you don’t hire us, then be sure to give her a call!  We promise you’ll love working with her.)

So far in this series, we’ve talked about budgeting and drafting your guestlist.  In today’s post, we’ll talk about what to consider when setting your wedding date.

Now, there’s no reason why you have to wait until after you’ve determined your budget and approximate guestlist to set your wedding date; you can do this first if you like.  But do at least be sure to have a good handle on the number of guests you’re expecting and the amount of money you plan to spend before you start committing to various wedding vendors.

The obvious place to start when choosing your wedding date is with you:  What dates are special to you?  What seasons are your favorite?  For example, if you and your intended had your first date on a magical winter evening, then you might want to recreate the magic with a candlelit winder wedding.

Obviously, more than personal preference generally needs to go into choosing your wedding date, so here are a few guidelines I share with my couples:

1. Try to be flexible about your date.  It’ll be easier for you to find the perfect venue if you’re willing to look at a range of dates, rather than a specific day on the calendar.  So instead of looking only at the second weekend in October, for example, you could be open to any weekend in October or early September.

 

2. Holidays will almost always be more expensive.  Think about it:  Do you want to be at work on New Year’s Eve?  Neither do most of your wedding vendors, and most of them will charge you higher holiday rates for their products and services.  Holidays are also likely to be more expensive for your guests, as everything from airfares to hotel rates jumps up during popular travel times.

 

3. Do you have to have your wedding on a Saturday?  Friday and Sunday weddings are becoming increasingly popular because they’re less expensive.  Most venues and some other vendors charge less for these less popular days.  If most of your guests are local, then a Friday or a Sunday may work well for you.  If many of your guests are coming in from out of town, then a Saturday will probably be simpler for them as they won’t have to take as many vacation days for travelling.  Also, be aware that Sunday weddings often don’t have the same party-all-night vibe as Friday and Saturday weddings do, because people want to be bright and alert for work on Monday morning.

 

4. Be aware of the typical weather conditions on your prospective wedding date, and think about how your plans may be affected.  Of course, you can’t predict the weather months ahead of time, and you can only plan for so much.  But if you’ve always dreamed of an outdoor wedding, then winter obviously isn’t the season for you (depending on where you live, summer may be a poor choice as well!).

 

5. Know the costs associated with particular times of the year in your area. For example, here in DC, autumn weddings are the most popular.  It’s easy to see why:  The weather is usually temperate and the autumn leaves provide a gorgeous backdrop.  What does that mean for you?  If you want an autumn wedding, then you’ll need to start planning well in advance — that means giving yourself at least twelve months to plan the wedding if you want to have the best selection of vendors.  If you’re looking to cut costs, then consider planning a wedding in your area’s off season.  Many venues and other vendors will give discounts for services booked during times that are normally slow for them.

Sunday’s blog post was all about the importance of starting out your wedding planning with a well-defined budget. Today, we’ll talk about putting together your guestlist.

You don’t have to know exactly who you’re going to invite to your wedding at this point, but it is important to decide how many guests you plan to have. You’ll need to know how many people you’re expecting before you can start looking at venues, and until you have your venue booked, you can’t start booking other vendors. So you can see how important this first guestlist draft is.

That brand-new budget you just created is a great place to start when deciding how many guests you’re going to invite to your celebration. Here in DC, I like to see couples budget at least $150 for each guest invited. So, for example, on a $20,000 budget, you could start with 130 or so guests as your working number.

Of course, that’s only a starting point. You’ll also need to consider the style of wedding and reception you want to have. If you’ve always dreamed of a party worthy of Platinum Weddings, then you’re going to need to either substantially increase your budget or substantially decrease your guest count. $20,000 won’t cover a 130-guest wedding if you’re going to have the most luxurious of everything. Conversely, if doing things as simply as possible is more your style, then you can probably afford to invite more than 130 guests on that $20,000 budget.

Not sure how many guests your budget will realistically accommodate given your idea of a dream wedding? A professional wedding coordinator can be invaluable in helping you sort this out. As I mentioned in Sunday’s post about budgeting, many planners offer their services on an a la carte or hourly basis, so even if you’re not planning to engage a coordinator to help you from start to finish, you can still take advantage of a planner’s expertise on your own terms.

Aside from the practical consideration of how many guests your budget will support, what do you need to take into account when deciding who to invite? First and foremost, remember that this is your wedding and you can invite — or not invite — whomever you please. Obviously you’ll probably want to invite your close family (parents, grandparents, siblings). You’ll also probably want to invite your closest friends. Beyond that, where you draw the line is up to you.

I frequently hear couples and their families worrying out loud about what so-and-so will think of them if they’re not invited to the wedding, and I always tell them the same thing: Remember that the wedding day is primarily about the beginning of a marriage. While the reception typically takes up the bulk of the budget and planning time, the wedding day is really all about the ceremony. If it’s genuinely important to you that a potential guest witness and participate in the moment the two of you become partners for life, then add them to the list. If not, then consider cutting them if you’re running out of room.

The other important decision you’re going to have to make at this point is how you’re dividing up your guest list. Do you and your future spouse get a third, with both sets of parents getting a third of their own? Or are you going to divide your numbers up some other way? How you negotiate this is up to you, but be sure all parties agree to a plan and stick to it.

There are so many other points I could discuss relating to drafting your guestlist, but I think we’ve covered the really important stuff here, so the rest can wait for a future post. I know guestlists can be a difficult sticking point for many couples, though, so if you have questions about how to approach yours, then please feel free to post them in the comments section. I’ll do my best to answer any questions you have.

In the next post: Setting the date!

POSTS IN THIS SERIES
You’re engaged! Now what?
Budgeting
Drafting your guestlist
Setting the date

The first step in planning your wedding isn’t very glamorous: Budgeting. You’re going to need to decide how much money you’re going to spend, and also how you plan to spend it.

First things first: How much are you going to spend? Determining the answer will probably involve sitting down with your family on both sides and having an honest talk about how much money, if any, everybody is planning to contribute to your wedding fund. Nobody looks forward to this conversation — talking about money is usually awkward at best — but it’s really important to know up front what your total budget will be. Until you know how much money you have to work with overall, you can’t make informed decisions about what you’re going to do with it.

Once you’ve determined the total amount you’re going to spend on your wedding, it’s time to itemize your budget, or decide how much you’re going to spend on each aspect of your big day. Your itemized budget will be your financial roadmap for successful wedding planning. This is where a professional wedding planner can really come in handy: It’s part of our job to keep up with current wedding trends, which means that we also keep up with the average costs for all the different products and services that make up a typical wedding celebration. Most wedding planners include budget consultation as part of their full-service planning packages, but you don’t necessarily have to hire a professional to help you with all of your planning to benefit from their knowledge and expertise: Many planners also offer budget consulatation as an a la carte service or will work with you on an hourly basis.

If you’re going it completely alone, then there are still plenty of helpful tools out there. Websites like WeddingWire and The Knot feature online budgeting tools that will help walk you through average spending trends nationwide and apply that information to your own wedding. You may also want to check out CostOfWedding.com, which will tell you the average wedding expenditure in your area, and will also break that down by spending category. It’s important to note that the average expenditures listed here may not reflect the average prices for the vendors you hope to hire, but it can still be a good starting point if you’re totally unfamiliar with what weddings cost.

Don’t forget to infuse your personal preferences into your budget. For example, if food is very important to you but your wedding dress isn’t, then don’t be afraid to bump up the percentage you’re planning to spend on catering and lower the percentage you’re planning to spend on your wedding gown. I ask couples I’m working with to come up with their top two or three priorities, as well as their bottom two or three priorities, and we adjust their budget accordingly.

Developing your wedding budget will probably be the least fun part of planning your wedding, but please don’t neglect to take care of this important task before you do anything else. No matter what your budget, you want to spend it wisely, and the only way to do that is to come up with a plan before you commit to any vendors or locations.

Next up: Your guestlist!

POSTS IN THIS SERIES
You’re engaged! Now what?
Budgeting
Drafting your guestlist
Setting the date

Engagement season is upon us! More proposals happen between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day than any other time of year.

Most newly minted brides-to-be can’t wait to jump into wedding planning, but just how do you get started on planning what may well be the biggest party of your life? That’s what we’ll be covering over the next few days on the Ayr Hill Events blog.

In this series of posts, we’ll be explaining how starting your wedding planning off the right way can prevent some serious headaches, save you money, and help ensure that all the pieces of your big day come together as you envision.

We’ll start tomorrow with budgeting. See you then!

POSTS IN THIS SERIES
You’re engaged! Now what?
Budgeting
Drafting your guestlist
Setting the date

The other day I was on the phone with a bride who’d called to get some information about wedding coordinators. At the beginning of our conversation, she confided that she’s really not ready to make a decision about hiring anyone yet, and I could hear the frustration in her voice when she said that she doesn’t even know what questions to ask when interviewing a prospective wedding coordinator.

I’ve been thinking about this bride and her predicament a lot over the past few days. She’s not unique in her frustration, and I know this is something brides (and grooms) face with many of their wedding-related purchases. Ideally, you only make decisions about wedding vendors once in your life. How can you be expected to know how to hire the best professionals in your area when you have no experience working with any of them?

I thought I’d put together a list of questions I would ask prospective wedding coordinators if I were hiring one, and I hope this will be helpful to some of you out there who are in the throes of wedding planning. I’m sure each of you will have additional questions based on your individual situations, but I think getting answers to these questions should provide you with a good foundation of information on which to base your decision about which coordinator is right for you:

Tell me about your experience coordinating weddings.
I’ve seen a similar question, “How long have you been in business?”, suggested on a few other lists of questions, but I think an open-ended invitation to talk about past experience will give you more valuable information. I know wonderful wedding coordinators who’ve been in business for a decade or more; however, I also know very talented wedding coordinators who are new business owners but have been coordinating events in the corporate world or on an amateur basis for years. Learn about your prospective planners’ backgrounds, then make a decision about which background sounds like the best fit for you and your event.

Are you licensed and insured?
You should be sure that your wedding coordinator is both licensed and insured. The license part is easy to understand: Obtaining and maintaining a business license is a legal requirement in most localities, and it’s just a basic part of being a professional business owner. Even the newest startup business should be licensed before accepting its first client.

You may wonder why insurance is so vital, and the answer is twofold: First, it’s a basic mark of professionalism. It may not be legally required, but professionaly, it’s every bit as important as a business license. No person who’s serious about their business will neglect to obtain appropriate insurance for their company. From a more practical standpoint, many venues won’t do business with vendors who aren’t insured. There’s no point contracting with a wedding coordinator who may not be able to coordinate your wedding.

Describe a typical relationship with a client.
Ask your planner how he or she prefers to work, and how the two of you will work together. How often will you meet? How frequently will you “meet” by telephone? Some of this will be detailed in the information about the package you’re thinking of purchasing; some of it you may need to ask about. You should also ask which tools your planner prefers to use. Some coordinators set up virtual offices to which both they and their clients have access; some coordinators provide customized planning binders to their clients; some coordinators provide tools as their clients need them; some use a combination of these or have a totally different working style. There’s no right answer here, but you should find a coordinator with whose work and communication styles you’re comfortable.

Is this your full-time job?
Some wedding coordinators work full-time on weddings and have no other job. Other wedding coordinators work at another job during the day, then devote their evenings and weekends to wedding planning. Both types of planners can provide you with a beautiful and well-choreographed event. In deciding your preference, think about your own schedule and how you need to interface with your coordinator. Will it be more convenient for you to work with your coordinator during traditional working hours, or will you be comfortable working primarily on evenings and weekends? Here again, there’s no right answer: Choose the option that works best for you.

What’s your backup plan?
Things happen, and every good coordinator should have a backup plan in place. Of course your coordinator will want to be, and will plan to be, at your wedding. But what happens if he or she is ill, has a family emergency, or is otherwise incapacitated? Many coordinators will have a trusted assistant who can step in and take over if necessary. Some coordinators maintain close contacts with other professional coordinators in their area and call on them in case of emergency. However your coordinator chooses to address this, make sure there’s a plan in place and that you have confidence in it.

How do you charge?
This really should be clearly laid out for you by the coordinator, but if it isn’t, then be sure to ask. Some coordinators charge a flat rate based on the amount of work they are contracted to perform; some charge a percentage of the total wedding budget; some charge by the hour. Most coordinators use some combination of these. Be sure you know how your total fee will be determined, and what that fee includes. Also ask how you will be charged if you need to request additional services after you’ve signed your contract.

Of course you will have other questions depending on the details of your event and your priorities, but you should at least get answers to these basic questions. And bear in mind that there’s no one wedding coordinator who’s perfect for everyone. You will be working more closely with this wedding vendor than with any other professional prior to and on the day of your wedding, so be sure you feel confident in whomever you choose and that your personalities work well together.

One of the hardest parts of planning a wedding is assembling your vendor dream team.  Fewer and fewer vendors are using Yellow Pages advertising these days, and the internet is a big place: How can you be sure you’re going to find that one vendor who’s just right for you?

Enter The Pink Book (www.thepinkbook.com)!  The Pink Book provides a listing of some of the best wedding professionals in 26 cities from across the country, along with special offers (Pink Perks) and a listing of wedding-related events you won’t want to miss.  You’ll also find valuable tools like questions to ask potential vendors, current trends, and even some etiquette tips.  All wrapped up in a pretty pink package!

What are your favorite wedding planning tools?  Let us know!