Sunday’s blog post was all about the importance of starting out your wedding planning with a well-defined budget. Today, we’ll talk about putting together your guestlist.

You don’t have to know exactly who you’re going to invite to your wedding at this point, but it is important to decide how many guests you plan to have. You’ll need to know how many people you’re expecting before you can start looking at venues, and until you have your venue booked, you can’t start booking other vendors. So you can see how important this first guestlist draft is.

That brand-new budget you just created is a great place to start when deciding how many guests you’re going to invite to your celebration. Here in DC, I like to see couples budget at least $150 for each guest invited. So, for example, on a $20,000 budget, you could start with 130 or so guests as your working number.

Of course, that’s only a starting point. You’ll also need to consider the style of wedding and reception you want to have. If you’ve always dreamed of a party worthy of Platinum Weddings, then you’re going to need to either substantially increase your budget or substantially decrease your guest count. $20,000 won’t cover a 130-guest wedding if you’re going to have the most luxurious of everything. Conversely, if doing things as simply as possible is more your style, then you can probably afford to invite more than 130 guests on that $20,000 budget.

Not sure how many guests your budget will realistically accommodate given your idea of a dream wedding? A professional wedding coordinator can be invaluable in helping you sort this out. As I mentioned in Sunday’s post about budgeting, many planners offer their services on an a la carte or hourly basis, so even if you’re not planning to engage a coordinator to help you from start to finish, you can still take advantage of a planner’s expertise on your own terms.

Aside from the practical consideration of how many guests your budget will support, what do you need to take into account when deciding who to invite? First and foremost, remember that this is your wedding and you can invite — or not invite — whomever you please. Obviously you’ll probably want to invite your close family (parents, grandparents, siblings). You’ll also probably want to invite your closest friends. Beyond that, where you draw the line is up to you.

I frequently hear couples and their families worrying out loud about what so-and-so will think of them if they’re not invited to the wedding, and I always tell them the same thing: Remember that the wedding day is primarily about the beginning of a marriage. While the reception typically takes up the bulk of the budget and planning time, the wedding day is really all about the ceremony. If it’s genuinely important to you that a potential guest witness and participate in the moment the two of you become partners for life, then add them to the list. If not, then consider cutting them if you’re running out of room.

The other important decision you’re going to have to make at this point is how you’re dividing up your guest list. Do you and your future spouse get a third, with both sets of parents getting a third of their own? Or are you going to divide your numbers up some other way? How you negotiate this is up to you, but be sure all parties agree to a plan and stick to it.

There are so many other points I could discuss relating to drafting your guestlist, but I think we’ve covered the really important stuff here, so the rest can wait for a future post. I know guestlists can be a difficult sticking point for many couples, though, so if you have questions about how to approach yours, then please feel free to post them in the comments section. I’ll do my best to answer any questions you have.

In the next post: Setting a date!

POSTS IN THIS SERIES
You’re engaged! Now what?
Budgeting
Drafting your guestlist

The first step in planning your wedding isn’t very glamorous: Budgeting. You’re going to need to decide how much money you’re going to spend, and also how you plan to spend it.

First things first: How much are you going to spend? Determining the answer will probably involve sitting down with your family on both sides and having an honest talk about how much money, if any, everybody is planning to contribute to your wedding fund. Nobody looks forward to this conversation — talking about money is usually awkward at best — but it’s really important to know up front what your total budget will be. Until you know how much money you have to work with overall, you can’t make informed decisions about what you’re going to do with it.

Once you’ve determined the total amount you’re going to spend on your wedding, it’s time to itemize your budget, or decide how much you’re going to spend on each aspect of your big day. Your itemized budget will be your financial roadmap for successful wedding planning. This is where a professional wedding planner can really come in handy: It’s part of our job to keep up with current wedding trends, which means that we also keep up with the average costs for all the different products and services that make up a typical wedding celebration. Most wedding planners include budget consultation as part of their full-service planning packages, but you don’t necessarily have to hire a professional to help you with all of your planning to benefit from their knowledge and expertise: Many planners also offer budget consulatation as an a la carte service or will work with you on an hourly basis.

If you’re going it completely alone, then there are still plenty of helpful tools out there. Websites like WeddingWire and The Knot feature online budgeting tools that will help walk you through average spending trends nationwide and apply that information to your own wedding. You may also want to check out CostOfWedding.com, which will tell you the average wedding expenditure in your area, and will also break that down by spending category. It’s important to note that the average expenditures listed here may not reflect the average prices for the vendors you hope to hire, but it can still be a good starting point if you’re totally unfamiliar with what weddings cost.

Don’t forget to infuse your personal preferences into your budget. For example, if food is very important to you but your wedding dress isn’t, then don’t be afraid to bump up the percentage you’re planning to spend on catering and lower the percentage you’re planning to spend on your wedding gown. I ask couples I’m working with to come up with their top two or three priorities, as well as their bottom two or three priorities, and we adjust their budget accordingly.

Developing your wedding budget will probably be the least fun part of planning your wedding, but please don’t neglect to take care of this important task before you do anything else. No matter what your budget, you want to spend it wisely, and the only way to do that is to come up with a plan before you commit to any vendors or locations.

Next up: Your guestlist!

POSTS IN THIS SERIES
You’re engaged! Now what?
Budgeting
Drafting your guestlist

Engagement season is upon us! More proposals happen between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day than any other time of year.

Most newly minted brides-to-be can’t wait to jump into wedding planning, but just how do you get started on planning what may well be the biggest party of your life? That’s what we’ll be covering over the next few days on the Ayr Hill Events blog.

In this series of posts, we’ll be explaining how starting your wedding planning off the right way can prevent some serious headaches, save you money, and help ensure that all the pieces of your big day come together as you envision.

We’ll start tomorrow with budgeting. See you then!

POSTS IN THIS SERIES
You’re engaged! Now what?
Budgeting
Drafting your guestlist

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

My little family and I will be staying home today, and I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the very first time! Thank goodness it’s only for the three of us — no pressure. Whew!

We’re having turkey, mushroom-and-hazelnut dressing, gravy, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, baked yams, salad, bread, and pecan pie. And I’m proud (and a bit nervous) to say that with the exception of the bread, every last bit of it will be from scratch! (I love baking bread, but I’m only one woman. I had to draw the line somewhere.)

Of course my family and I are thankful for one another and for the prosperity that allows us to enjoy such a (hopefully) sumptuous meal later on today, but we’re also thankful for all of you. Mr. Husband is always asking about my brides and grooms and he gets to know you almost as well as I do, and of course many of you have met Little D at some point in your planning process. Whether you know it or not, you’re kinda part of the family. And of course, I’m thankful for all of you readers, too.

Today and every day, we wish you all much love and happiness.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Okay, so maybe it’s shallow, but among the many other more worthy things for which I give thanks (family, friends, food, shelter… the big things), I also give thanks for sales. And I give thanks for (and to!) those who clue me in to the really good sales. It’s no secret that the total bill for a bride’s gorgeous attire can add up pretty quickly, so in my book, a bridal salon event is really, really good.

In the spirit of giving, I’ve spent the morning hunting down sales happening between now and the end of the year at DC-area bridal salons. Some of them are even starting the day after Thanksgiving. And it’s not just about the bride: There are some good sales happening on bridesmaids’ and flower girls’ dresses as well. What better way to spend the day after Turkey Day than to hit the bridal salons? Leave the boys at home with their football games and take your bridesmaids out for a day of shopping.

Read, clap with glee, then get on the phone and start making appointments as necessary. You can thank me later.  :)

Blueberries Bridal, Kensington, Maryland
Now through November 30th, 2008
10% + $10.00 off Suri bridesmaid dresses

Now through December 1st, 2008
10% off little girl dresses

Dharma & Leopold’s, Warrenton, Virginia
(super-cute clothes for your flower girl and ring bearer)
Valid through December 24, 2008
Coupon worth 15% off any one item

Distinctive Designs Bridal, Rockville, Maryland
Now through December 31st, 2008
Sample Sale (up to 75% off!)

Formalities Bridal, Winchester, Virginia
Now through December 23rd, 2008
Bring in a toy to donate to Toys for Tots and get 10% off any dress purchased that day

Hannelore’s, Alexandria, Virginia
Going on now!
Sample Sale (up to 50% off!)

TLC Bridal Boutique, Frederick, Maryland
Going on now!
Sample Sale (many gowns priced at $99.00!)

David’s Bridal, locations throughout the DC area
November 26th - December 1st, 2008
Sample Sale (50% off select styles)

The Barn, Bunker Hill, West Virginia
November 28th, 2008
50% off all out-of-stock wedding gowns

Promise, Bethesda, Maryland
November 29th - December 31st, 2008
Winter Sample Sale

Carine’s Bridal Atelier, Washington, DC
December 7th, 2008
Sample Sale (up to 75% off!) at the Ritz-Carlton Tysons Corner

Last week I had the pleasure of lunching at the Carlyle Club with Arlene Hewitt, who generously invited me for a visit.

The Carlyle Club is a relatively new venue; however, you’d never know it.  It’s a painstaking recreation of a 1930s supper club that immediately transports you back to the swing era. No art deco detail has been spared, and Arlene explained that many of the decorative items — including the carpets! — were imported from Europe. The supper club atmosphere doesn’t stop at the decor: Our lunch was served at a table with white linens and lovely china by a tuxedoed waiter who unobtrusively attended to our every need. It was nice to enjoy the kind of service that, for better or worse, is becoming something of a throwback in our rapid-paced society.

My spinach salad with chicken was delicious, and Arlene’s plate of squash ravioli looked pretty yummy too. The special events menus feature a wide range of possibilities, and I’m sure they’re all equally tasty.

After lunch and a great conversation all about being businesswomen in Alexandria, Arlene took me on a brief tour of the club.  In addition to the main dining room, there’s a private VIP room, a beautiful bar, and a luxurious bathroom that would be a nice getting-ready area for a bride and her maids.

I tried to take some photos to share, but most of them turned out pretty awful (I’m still learning my way around our new DSLR).  Here’s a picture of the bar:

There are many other great pictures on the Gallery page on the Club’s website.

The Carlyle Club can accommodate up to 250 people, although a smaller group would probably allow for better use of the dance floor. The Club features a large raised bandstand and a beautiful parquet dance floor your guests will love. Their A/V capabilities include an excellent sound system, some special lighting, and even video! Parking for your guests is available in a nearby garage, and the Club can arrange valet parking service for a very reasonable rate.

Like any good supper club, the Carlyle Club is open for lunch and dinner almost every day, and frequently hosts local and national dance bands. Check them out for your next date night, and if you’d like a bit of a vintage, classy atmosphere for your wedding and reception, then be sure to add the Club to your list of venue possibilities.

This is not at all wedding-related, but it’s Friday.  And maybe some of you who are stressed out with wedding planning and need a break can find it here.  So maybe it’s wedding-related after all?  Hey, I’ll take it.

One of my Texas friends sent me the link to the Shiba Inu Puppycam.  Before you click on it, I have to warn you:  Once you start watching, you’ll be sucked in and will get no more work done today.

Enjoy!  And have a happy weekend.

So you’re all voting tomorrow, right?  Unless you have some big-time something going on tomorrow, there’s nothing more important you can do than vote.  So get to your polling place and make your opinion count!  It’s your right, it’s your privilege, and it’s your obligation.

For those of you who are here in the DC-MD-VA area, here’s where to get the key information you need if you’re not sure how or where to vote:

District of Columbia Board of Elections and Ethics

Maryland State Board of Elections

Virginia State Board of Elections

The projections are for long lines, so take a bottle of water, a snack, a book…  whatever will help you pass the time.  But please spend the time.  Make your day count.  You’ll be glad you did.

Courtney and Tom had a beautiful day for their wedding this past Saturday in Maryland. It was sunny and cool, but not too cool — just the right kind of day for starting out their new life together.

Their simple, beautiful ceremony was held in the sanctuary at River Road Unitarian Universalist Congregation in Bethesda. Are all those windows gorgeous or what? And yes, Courtney’s stunning dress is the perfect shade of pink.

After the ceremony, all of the wedding guests were shuttled down the road to Glen Echo Park for the reception, which was held in the historic Bumper Car Pavilion.

Courtney and Tom opted for cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake, and the cupcakes were a huge hit, especially among the kiddos. (Oh, who am I kidding: They were a huge hit among the vendors too! Those cupcakes were deeeelicious.)

Glen Echo offers lots of great photo opportunities. Courtney and Tom took full advantage by doing most of their formal shots before the ceremony, then catching a few great candids after dark when the neon lights came on.

Both Courtney and Tom come from close-knit, fun-loving families.  Here they are at the end of the night singing along with the last song, “Sweet Caroline”, which I can only assume was chosen to honor Courtney’s beloved Red Sox.

Courtney and Tom, thank you for making us a part of your day!  We wish you a lifetime of love, happiness, and fun — and somehow we think you’ll have no trouble finding it.

Huge props for going above and beyond go out to:

My assistant coordinator for the day, Amy McCurdy, who’s always the right right-hand-woman

MK McKenna, photographer extraordinaire, and her second shooter Jessi

Emily Mah and the whole team at Glen Echo Park

DJ PGee, who kept the party going ’til the very end

Awards Limousine for making sure everyone was where they needed to be on time

Hello Cupcake!  Hello, those cupcakes were yummy!

Today is Blog Action Day, a day for all of us in the blogosphere to give just one post to help bring an important subject to our readers’ attention. This year’s topic is poverty.

Poverty is a worldwide problem, but let’s just look for a moment at poverty here in the United States: The poverty threshold used by the U.S. Census Bureau in 2007 was $10,590 for a single adult, or $13,540 for a household of two adults with no children. Seriously, I can’t even imagine trying to survive on so little income. My husband and I have one child, so for us the poverty threshold for 2007 was $16,869. That wouldn’t have even covered our bills for our home — just the structure — every month, much less food, transportation, clothing (babies grow fast!) . . . Now think about how in many poverty-stricken countries around the world, earning the amount of money that constitutes the poverty threshold in the U.S. would make a family wealthy beyond belief.

So what can you do to help? If you’re my typical reader, you’re a bride planning a wedding in affluent Washington, D.C., and in spite of our own dramatic economic downturn here at home, your biggest budgeting concern right now is probably how you’re going to afford both the pintucked linens and the Chiavari chairs for all 20 of the guest tables at your reception. And that’s okay — I don’t think you should feel guilty for having been blessed with plenty. But I do think it’s a good idea to share when you can.

Here’s one idea: When I’m working on budgets with my full-planning brides, I always encourage them to set 10% of their budget aside at the beginning of the planning process. We consider it an emergency fund. If we don’t use it, then the wedding comes in under budget, which is a good thing. When we do use it, it usually goes for things like the Manolo Blahniks that just came out in exactly the right color, the chair sashes that really would give just that extra “oomph” to the reception, the midnight slider delivery for all those hungry guests who’ve been shaking their booties for hours — you get the idea.

What if you follow the same budgeting rule, and give whatever’s leftover at the end of your planning process to the charity of your choice? What if you encourage your engaged friends to do the same? What a a great way to be a trendsetter!

We’ll even join in the trend with you: For the rest of the year (that’s until next year’s Blog Action Day in October 2009), Ayr Hill Events is going to give 10% of our fee for each of our weddings to Lutheran World Relief. Why LWR? Well, mostly because since I’m Lutheran, I’m already familiar with the good work they do and with their sterling reputation for sending most of the money they receive on to help the people it’s intended to help. Here’s a description of what they do, lifted directly from their website:

Lutheran World Relief (LWR) is a non-governmental organization founded in 1945 to respond to the needs of communities devastated by World War II. Since then, it has evolved from a relief agency shipping material resources to war-torn Europe to an agency that works with partners worldwide to respond to emergencies, seek lasting solutions to rural poverty, and work for peace and justice for all. LWR works to promote equity, strengthen organizational capacity, and empower communities to have a voice in decisions that affect their lives, while continually learning to increase our impact. Headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland, LWR works to reduce poverty and injustice by helping communities increase and expand the resources they need to live productive, healthy and empowered lives.

Really think about it. Find a way to help. There are lots of things you can do. And let us know what you decide to do. If you’re not a fan of the 10% idea (and it’s okay if you’re not), then leave us a comment and let us know how you plan to make a difference. You never know who you’ll inspire!